There were some good times and high points in an otherwise difficult year. Envy and intolerance bring out evil in what you thought were otherwise good people. While the trend seems to be reviewing photos and quotes blogged over the year, I don’t see any reason to rehash old posts. But since it seems to be a good idea to have something that summarizes the year, enter the Average White Boys (AWB), and the Cute Cuddly Calf Band (CCCB). With a little prodding, they gave me inspiration and helped me put together a parody video that is a good allegory for 2017 in review. Its off key innuendos, delivered in perfect compás, are light hearted, humorous metaphors for anyone who got a lot of undeserving BS in 2017.

I kissed a Calf

I Kissed a Calf
Music by Katy Perry
Lyrics by Timothy Price
Vocals by the AWB
Calves by the CCCB

I was simply walking by your fence, I heard you tooting
I looked, you caught my eye you know, you’re so good looking
It’s not what we are use to, but we had to give it a try
It was interspecies curiosity that caught our attention.

I kissed a calf I didn’t like it
The sloppy taste of hairy bovine
I kissed a calf just to try it
Ugh a big wet tongue was behind it
It’s just so wrong
There’s nothing right
This bovine romance has to end tonight
I kissed a calf I didn’t like it (I didn’t like it).

So now I feel you’re not the same, what does it matter?
You are just a four legged game, just messing with nature
It’s not what guys and cows do, not how we should behave
Was I confused or what, you know you taste like hay.

I kissed a calf I didn’t like it
The sloppy taste of hairy bovine
I kissed a calf just to try it
Ugh a big wet tongue was behind it
It’s just so wrong
There’s nothing right
This bovine romance has to end tonight
I kissed a calf I didn’t like it (I didn’t like it).

You calves seemed kind of magical
Hairy skin, rough lips, not kissable
Big tongue is not so touchable
If you ask me I’ll deny it
Is it a big deal or innocent?

I kissed a calf I didn’t like it
The sloppy taste of hairy bovine
I kissed a calf just to try it
Ugh a big wet tongue was behind it
It’s just so wrong
There’s nothing right
This bovine romance has to end tonight
I kissed a calf I didn’t like (I didn’t like it).