Bite 'Em ON The Old Shin Bone

November 03, 2017  •  18 Comments

Anyone who has followed this blog for any time has seen various photos of the beavers and beaver dams in the clearwater ditch that runs along the west side of the Rio Grande through Corrales. I have also published various posts about the Conservancy waging war against the beavers and tearing out the beaver’s dams. So the beavers build their dams and the conservancy tear them out out in a never ending cycle that gets referred to as "That Dam War."

The beavers had recently built five or six fine dams along a mile long section of the clearwater ditch from the access bridge we use to cross the ditch. The Conservancy tore the dams out, and the disgusted beavers formed a group they named “The Angry Beavers” and enlisted help from me and The Average White Boys to produce a music video about the government guys always blowing up their homes. When I asked them what they most wanted to do to the Conservancy men, the Angry Beavers were unanimous about wanting to “bite them on the old shin bone.” 

So we all collaborated using Beaver UX/UI, came up with lyrics and a concept for the parody. I searched through our never ending "shed of infinite doom” and found a couple of old sticks of dynamite, a plunger, and some old gas welding glasses for props. The AWBs took turns letting the beavers bite them on their shinbones for the shinbone shots. They were really good sports about getting all wet and cold in the icy 38º F clear ditch water.  The AWBs also took turns being the “government guys”. Working together, we produced a new parody music video called “Bite ‘Em On The Old Shin Bone”. The lyrics are posted below the video so you can follow along.

 

Bite 'Em On The Old Shin Bone

 

Bite ‘Em On The Old Shin Bone
The Angry Beavers and The Average White Boys
Music: Shel Silverstein
Lyrics: Timothy Price

 

Ha ha ha, I don't believe it
Hah! Don't touch it
Hey you going to tell them who we are?

Well We’re bucktoothed builders
We got golden slappers
We love to lay sticks in a row… (Sounds like beavers)
We build real beauty, dams to tell the truth
We cut ten thousand willows you know… (Yah! Right!)
Fish have all kinds of gills, and it’s kind of surreal
Then there’s the man we’ve never known
He’s shrill, yelling, bitchin’, when he blows up our kitchen 
Wanna bite him on the old shinbone

(Old Shinbone) Wanna bite him right through his cover
(Bone…) Gonna bite five chomps for my mother
(Bone…) Wanna chew off his smiling face
Bite him on the old shinbone (That’s a very good idea you know)

We watch two legged ladies on the ditch bank daily
They walkin in tight jeans
We got a poor old gray haired biologist
Who thinks we’re really keen
Now the conservancy men wanna blowup our homes
And our homes get really blown
Like the blow when they bitchin and blowin up our kitchens
Wanna bite them on the old shinbones

(Old Shinbone) Wanna bite him right through his cover
(Bone…) Gonna bite five chomps for my mother
(Bone…) Wanna chew off his smiling face
Bite him on the old shinbone

[Talking]
Hey, I know how
Beaver roll...

[Instrumental]

Oh that's really beautiful man!

We got a lot of little teeny blue scaled guppies
Don’t do anything all day
And there’s a genuine government guru
Who says dynamite's a better way
Build nice dams but the government guy
Doesn’t think we need a home
We keep building stronger, but their dynamite gets longer
And we bite em on old shinbones

(Old Shinbone) Wanna bite him right through his cover
(Bone…) Gonna bite five chomps for my mother
(Bone…) Wanna chew off his smiling face
Bite him on the old shinbone
Bite him on the old shinbone

Wanna bite him right through his cover
(Bone…) Gonna bite five chomps for my mother
(Bone…) Wanna chew off his smiling face
Bite him on the old shinbone

 


Comments

Off Center & Not Even @ T & L Photos
Thanks, Julie!
Julie(non-registered)
Ha ha love it! Yep, bite them on the old shinbone . I was toe tapping!
Off Center & Not Even @ T & L Photos
Hi Teagan. I'm happy you got a kick out of it. I was surprised that Lane and Suzette didn't know "The Cover of the Rolling Stone" — making me feel old. I though everyone knew that song. Beavers biting government men on the shinbones are nothing close to being on the cover of the Rolling Stone, but that's just how twisted minds work I guess. It's interesting how times have changed — back in the day being on the cover of the Stone was a really big deal. Today some people view it like a fate worse than death.
Teagan R Geneviene(non-registered)
Ha!!!! It took me a minute to place "The Cover of the Rolling Stone." Tim, you've out done yourself. That was hysterical. It sort of took me by surprise, because I was just enjoying your write-up, and agreeing what clever critters beavers are. Terrific post. Have a sublime Sunday.
Off Center & Not Even @ T & L Photos
Thanks, Harry! Can't let my life be too normal you know.
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